You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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