Already got asked if we're dating
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I wish you could order shots online.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
