I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
