He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
that is very illegal...i love you.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
