their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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