the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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