Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
