how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
