do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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