i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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