every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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