Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
