she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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