in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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