David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
