come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
