Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
