You can't motorboat a personality
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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