Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
