just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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