i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Porn is love you can see.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
