Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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