Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize