I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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