Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
