i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
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