whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Im part way to drunk.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
