Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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