I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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