It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
