okay pat passed out under dana's car
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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