You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
