So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
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I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I don't deserve a penis
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I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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