ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
