if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
