i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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