Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize