I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
