im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
And then he peed in my hair
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