Don't you send me to vm
We're like a lot better than the average bears
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
