Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Operation Purity has been aborted
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
