I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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