HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
