I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
