On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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