just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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