can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
