And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
