That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
