I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize