she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
