I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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