from now on my penis is your penis
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
