My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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