there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Randomize
