I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize