I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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