I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
