Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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