Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
